“For all those girls out there, my advice would be to not let how guys look at you dictate how you feel about yourself. Have confidence in yourself and they’ll see that confidence and that’s what’s important.”Amanda on video
“Being burned in the past from relationships there is still a feeling of repercussions and scars and just the healing… but if I’m not totally at peace with who I am, on my own, by myself… any kind of relationship would only be trying to fulfill that empty part of me… when I’m at a place when I’m able to not only offer myself but also receive someone and welcome them and be cool with that, I think that that’s just a really great place to be.”
Exercise 12.1: Take a moment to think about, and may even write down, a few characteristics about yourself that you really like.
· Maybe you have a fantastic sense of humour.
· Or perhaps you are an honest and trustworthy individual and people depend on you.
. What are you good at?
· What are you proud of?
· What characteristics do you value the most in a partner?
· What do you value most in a romantic relationship?
· What are your non-negotiables? For example, how important is it for your partner to share your beliefs and convictions. How important is it that your partner challenges you and encourages your personal growth?
“You need to be able to trust each other. You need to try and understand what each other wants or needs in the relationship. Treating each other with respect will build a healthy relationship.”160“Healthy relationships are honest, truthful, it’s two sided – give and take both ways, respectful. A healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good and happy to be around that person. A healthy relationship is non-judgemental and ultimately trusting. I think a healthy relationship should feel safe.”192“…both benefit from relationship; trust; make each other laugh and smile; can count on them no matter what; accepting; know how each other’s feeling.”157“open; can easily converse; trusting; happy; excited to see that person”103
“Being true friends”123
· Partner is always putting you down, especially in front of others.
· Partner tells you that no one else will ever love you.
· You need to be in a relationship in order to feel good about yourself.
· Partner gets angry when you want to spend time with others (friends or family).
· Partner pressures or forces you to perform sexual acts you’re not comfortable with.
. Partner hits you, slaps you, and/or yells at you.
· Partner calls you derogatory names.
· Partner makes the decisions and doesn’t listen to your opinions.
· Partner wants you to drop everything for him/her.
· Partner doesn’t accept your faults or encourage you to get back up when you fall.
· Partner doesn’t allow you to grow as a person.